October 24, 2005

Buddy Profile 2

"Well, well, well ... what's going on here? Is that another JD&Coke drinker I see before me?"
S. McM, 10/1/2002

Welcome to buddy profile part 2. To be honest, I had to think long and hard about this one. What's the best way to explain it? It's like when your auntie comes around for tea and the dog starts humping her leg. It's embarressing and he shouldn't be doing it, but how do you tell him to stop? That's exactly the dilemma i had when i saw this shot.

Anyway, let's get on with it. Let's break this man down with some insightful profiles.

: nationality :: Oirish, from county Muck

: favourite music :: Rod Stewart, Whitney Houston, ideally a duet between the two

: favourite food :: anything that can be delivered in a box

: hobbies :: visiting Weston-super-Mare, visiting Cribbs Causeway

: real hobbies :: dogging on Clifton Downs

: favourite dogging spot :: Fairy Wood, around 11 pm

: most likely to say :: "there's bad men in these woods"
: followed by :: "let me shake your .... hand"
: likely response :: "hey, aren't you Phil Mitchell?"

: hair style :: vanishing quicker than the Amazon rain forest

: favourite celebrity :: Jordan

: would most like to be :: Peter Andre

And there you go, that's it for another episode of buddy profile. Join in next week for another interesting character profile. Now, if you want to see some really interesting people, you should send me some money via Paypal.

October 10, 2005


We suffered a terrible loss in our household last night. After going for a few beers with Sean, the inevitable happened and I was dispatched to Domino's Pizza for food. On the way back I had the two pizzas riding shotgun with me, and one fell off. I briefly considered putting the pieces back together and giving it to Sean, but I was wary that the cops might be around and see me doing it. Passing off road-kill as a pizza is probably a crime and I didn't want to do time for it. So I abandoned the poor pizza there on the road. It's probably still there now.

So me and Sean had to split the remaining pizza, but still something didn't feel right about the whole thing. After a while I realized what it was. I was suffering from grief and I needed closure.
So this afternoon I made the journey again to Domino's and got another pizza. I knew it was going to be a difficult ride home with the pizza riding shotgun with me, and so soon after the loss of the other one, but I had to "get back on the horse", as the Yanks say.

This time there was no disaster. I made it home without incident and I even took a more difficult route with lots of turns on it. With my confidence sky-high, I hastily scoffed the pizza.

At last I have closure ...

October 07, 2005

Buddy Profile

I'm bored writing about me, so I thought I'd write about some people I know. Here's the first in a series of buddy profiles ...

This is the perfect shot. It captures the subject in his natural surroundings, near a watering hole, imbibing his favourite brew - JD&Coke. There is some confusion as to what's going on here. It'll all become clear in the next part of Buddy Profile.

: currently drives :: a grotty old Freelander
: would like to drive :: a Porsche of some description

: declared hobbies :: extreme kayaking, ultra-marathons, fitness guru
: real hobbies :: none, drinking maybe and looking stressed

: aspires to be :: a yuppie
: is actually :: a chav wannabe

: hair colour :: black, number 4336 from Betties salon
: real colour :: unknown, subject of speculation, probably red

And that's it for the first in the series of Buddy Profiles. Tune in again for some more entertaining profiles of people I know. All characters are purely fictional. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

October 06, 2005

Thank God for Grolsch

It occurred to me some time ago, that text messaging is the most useless form of communication. Here's an example ....
Sean ( the hunter-gatherer from the plains of Africa ) suggests going for a beer, via text message, of course. So I say, "Why not?!". After all, the mountaineering season is over and it's time to hang up the old crampons and mull over the the highlights of the year. But then a series of confusing text messages comes through, suggesting places, times, things that gotta be done first, someone's leaving bash, blah blah blah. And all of it one message at a time !
Now I dunno about you adventurers, but I've got a pay plan which gives me hundreds of free call minutes and zero free texts. So surely the thing to do is to use voice and make a call. And it's sooo much quicker too.
Try telling that to Sean the hunter-gatherer, with his ancient smoke signals and beating drums. And no, he wouldn't use Skype either. I think I know which tribe he belongs to ... it's the Luddites. I'd better not try to take his picture again with my camera phone lest he thinks I'm trying to steal his soul ( he doesn't have one though, he's a Proddie ).
So anyway, I ended up getting a few beers in and watching a few shows on the TV. Got this new one of the net called Firefly. Not bad. Must download the rest. Thank god for the internet or us bums would have nothing to do ...