November 22, 2005


It's not often a regular guy gets to do some serious physics research, but I've just been doing some this evening.

This is my theory - when a bloke drinks some beer then the time dilation effects of Einstein's special theory of relativity can be observed.

Miraculous, eh? But how does one reach this startling conclusion?
Well, the only apparatus required for this experiment are a few cans of beer (Grolsch in this case). Simply drink the beers and go about your usual business and then after you feel a period of time has elapsed go and have a look at a clock to measure the time. I am sure you will realise the same results that I have, time has slowed to a crawl and a mere 15 minutes has elapsed.

How do I know this? Simple, it happened to me tonight. But before you try this yourself, you better read up on the theory. Here's what you need to know ....

Wikipedia - Lorentz Contraction and Time Dilation

but in case that's too complicated, try this one ...

The Economist - Einstein for Dummies

Now I suggest that you try the experiment above and report your results here, in the comments area of the blog. Don't be amazed if your results are as startling as mine - in fact, it took me only 10 seconds to write this blog entry! -- amazing eh?
So if you want to live longer, don't bother with a healthy diet. Just drink more beer!

As a side note: maybe it's not the antioxidants in red wine that prolong life, but the wine itself ! Think about it ...

November 02, 2005


Man, i'm bored.

And I'm suffering from PISTD - Post I.T. Stress Trauma Disorder.

I am thinking that maybe i should sue my former employers. I said to them time and time again that i was no good with computers and they just wouldn't listen to me. They must have thought i was being modest ... but i wasn't, i'm crap and i just couldn't be arsed. So they made me try different I.T. jobs, deliberately putting me under stress until i quit - and now I'm PISTD.

I blame most of it on one manager, we'll call him Dwain Kelly to hide his identity. I asked him could I transfer to the human resources department but he wouldn't let me go. I said to him, "but it's all girls up there - surely they need a male perspective ..?", and again he shot me down. So i spent the rest of my days stress-testing the company's link to the internet ... wheeee!

So a message to all you egg-heads out there. Stay away from I.T ! Human resources is the way to go !