Xmas Bloody Xmas

Xmas eh? It hasn't arrived yet and I'm already tired of it. Same every year.

Normally around this time I'm getting ready to go away somewhere but this year is an exception - I'm going home. Now I'm not going to tell you where that is, I don't need you blog-fans tracking me down looking for autographs and stuff.

Five years ago I was in India, and the dodgy geezer above was trying to flog me a camel after letting me take it for a test-drive. I'd love to go back there but my blog-fans are a bit of a tight bunch and havn't been contributing to the Send-Xtrailz-To-A-Faraway-Place-Fund. It's shocking really! - page upon page of light entertainment and not a penny has been received. So come on you freeloading b*stards - dig in. Give a little - it would help a lot .....

Homeless Bob

Every once in a while, this guy knocks on our door looking for a place to sleep. We don't know much about him, but he's always drunk when he arrives. We reckon he must be a homeless person and so we call him Homeless Bob.

Especially around Christmas, we think it's important to help people like Homeless Bob so we let him sleep in our spare room. He is never there in the morning though. He lets himself out to go rummaging in bins, i suppose.

So please spare a thought for Bob if you see him over the festive season. Give him a few coins or a blanket to keep himself warm. But whatever you do don't give him any fuckin' beer or he'll turn up at our house again !!!

Button moon

Damn it! I seem to have become addicted to Cadburys Giant Buttons.

I tried to wean myself off them a few days ago by trying a packet of smaller buttons but it didn't work. Guess I'm going to have to treat it like any other addiction and check myself into the Priory Clinic for a few weeks.